Far from being an indulgence in sexual hedonism, tantric masters Oceana and Icarus say tantra is about surrendering and dissolving the ego so that the presence of spirit becomes more meaningful. The result is a greater open-heartedness and gratitude of life.
Is the practice of tantra about sex or spirituality?
Tantra is the ancient art and science of expanding consciousness in order to experience the essential truth of our nature – our true self. In tantra we use our most powerful spiritual resource, our sexual energy, to break the bonds of our ego and merge with the Infinite. If most of us look at our life we will notice that perhaps the only first-hand experience we have ever had of God has been during sexual orgasm. Tantra is unique among belief systems or spiritual practices in that rather than repress or ignore our sexual nature, it fully embraces it. We no longer have to split off that very real part of ourselves. I integrates sexuality and spirituality.
Could you explain the relationship between the heart and tantra?
As we see it, the four basic principles of tantra are: 1) be totally present, 2) open your heart 3) dissolve the ego 4) merge with the Divine. So having an open heart is an essential ingredient. These are not things that we have learned to do in school or society. Contrary to popular belief, they do require some practice. There are numerous techniques which enhance or greatly accelerate this practice. Our work is designed to offer people an experiential opportunity of these principles. After experiencing the feelings one owns them in the body, or at least knows the way to get back to them. So the teaching sticks. All these ‘lovey-dovey’ concepts are well and good but people want to know what they can do. Our students say it usually takes about two years to fully integrate what they learn in a weekend intensive.
What is your opinion of ‘free love’ versus monogamy?
Some say free love is too expensive. There are many noble intellectual concepts to support the rationale of free love. We tend to put these in the category of great intellectual ideas. We encourage monogamy if you want to go to the heights with tantra for three reasons. 1) Practicality, it’s almost impossible to have an intimate conscious successful relationship with one partner in today’s world. We feel this kind of relationship is the highest mountain on the planet – higher than the Himalayas! Why make things more difficult by bringing in third parties? 2) Vulnerability, your mind can concoct all kinds of rationales for polygamy but the part that we call your partner’s vulnerable inner child will never understand these head trips or why their beloved is making love to someone else. 3) Mysticism, in tantric lovemaking you can achieve the mystical experience of your partner being every man or woman throughout history and every culture. You experience your beloved as The Beloved. Once you have experienced this, ‘had them all’ so to speak, why would you desire another partner? Generally, women in particular require this safety, comfort and commitment of a monogamous relationship to go to the heights of true intimacy. It’s the biological imperative.
What are the benefits of integrating tantra into one’s life?
The benefits are multidimensional. That is, they promote well being in the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual realms. Tantric practices include efficient physical exercises done using the breath, our source of life energy. These simple routines take less than ten minutes per day. Besides toning the overall body, they stimulate and cleanse the lymphatic system, improve sexual tone and fitness and balance the male and female energy within our bodies. Tantric practices build intimacy and improve sexuality, including the ability to be multi-orgasmic and have full body orgasms. We thought we had good sex lives for 20 years before we got on to tantra. However, in hindsight, we were just babies. There are whole other worlds to explore. And, ultimately, tantra isn’t about sex. It’s just a fun and fascinating way to get there. It’s a spiritual path, a coming home, a soul connection to who we really are; Divine Beings, being divine!
Could you say how tantric techniques empower men and women to awaken their sexuality?
Men are empowered in sexuality by controlling heir energy. For women, it’s the opposite. They are empowered by releasing energy. So if you think about it, we’re talking about a time issue here. Tantric techniques allow a man to slow down and build more and more energy as the woman’s needs are fulfilled allowing enough time to reach an ecstatic state. Everybody wins! The other thing is opening the heart. Women’s most frequent complaint in sex and relationships is that the man’s heart isn’t open. It’s not really the bloke’s fault; men just aren’t wired that way. Everybody wins if their hearts are more open. And this takes practice, like anything worth doing. It’s not just automatic. Tantra gives one techniques to learn and to practice.
What do you mean by a ‘full body orgasm?’
Using tantric techniques you can build energy and awareness to the point where the entire body-mind-spirit ascends into an orgasmic state of being. It is equivalent to what one might experience with psychotropic drugs, without the risk, cost or side effects. Beyond time, beyond bodies and space, beyond the personality, beyond Beyond to an infinite reality where there are no longer lovers, only Love! That pretty well describes an experience that cannot be put into words.
Many people have fears or hesitancies about attending a tantric sex workshop.
Are these fears justified?
The subjects of sex and spirituality are both surrounded with shame, guilt and fear. We are accustomed to this and very sensitive to it. We establish an atmosphere of awareness, comfort, security, safety and love, which fully supports the participants. Over the years we have found that most-peoples’ fears are around two issues; will they be asked to strip naked or have sex with someone in the workshop?
Answer: No.
We do not consider this necessary or appropriate. Astronauts train rigorously to go to outer space without actually going there. There is much to learn and practice in a workshop with supportive people. Besides, if you go back to the four basic principles of tantra, you see that sex is not mentioned. Sex and intimacy are vastly different. Much of our work focuses on the breath, awareness, meditation, energy flows, heart opening and being totally present.
People’s second biggest fear, depending on which side of the fence they’re sitting on, is that they are single and don’t have a partner or that they are in a relationship with the wrong partner. Our teachings are for single people as well as couples. Usually the groups are about half and half. You can choose to do anything in the workshop alone, with a partner of the same of opposite sex, in triads, or not at all. Perhaps the best way to begin with tantra is by yourself. It’s easier at first without the complications of a relationship. People who have just ended a relationship find our work very empowering and healing. As long as there is a willingness, couples also find it very healing coming into a heart space and learning new skills and techniques.
You talk about surrendering the ego and for many people this is not any easy thing to do for a variety of reasons. How do you teach people to let go?
We have our ways, and a great track record of results.
We live in a world where many people experience a lack of love. How does tantra help a person discover their capacity for love?
When we peel off all the layers of the onion, we discover that love is what we are. That’s all tantra claims to do. Love is the essence of creation.
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